Therapist’s Challenge: 5 Traits That Make Me, Well, Me
My therapist recently asked me to define five traits that make me unique. It felt a little like crafting a dating profile — minus the pressure of impressing anyone. Instead, it was about looking inward and figuring out who I really am and what I want from life. The exercise reminded me of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, when the Caterpillar asks Alice, “Who are you?” Her response? “I hardly know, sir, just at present... at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then.” That line always stuck with me because, in your 20s, you’re constantly growing and learning. I got a tattoo of that scene in college as a reminder that life is always evolving, and so am I.
The five traits I identified are humor, authenticity, curiosity, optimism, and love. Here's how they play out in my life.
One trait that stands out for me is appreciating humor. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and I’ve learned to find the humor in those moments, especially when things go sideways. Like the time I broke my femur on Hanukkah. It completely upended my family’s holiday, but now? It’s a go-to story we laugh about. Same with the time I broke my leg in Greece and had to be airlifted home. If you’re going to break a limb, at least make it an international incident, right? That free first-class flight back (thank you, Delta!) almost made it worth it. Almost.
Another defining trait? Authenticity. I’ve had my fair share of experiences — some great, some ridiculous — but I never try to be someone I’m not. What you see is what you get. That’s part of why I love what I do, especially as I dive deeper into my career in marketing. It also plays a huge role in how I navigate dating. I’ll be the first to admit, I use my wheelchair as my first picture on dating apps. I think it’s important to be upfront about who I am from the start. I try to be transparent about everything — work in rare disease pharma, dog dad, coffee addict, occasional oversharer — because at the end of the day, I’d rather connect with someone who actually gets me.
Optimism also plays a big role in who I am. Life throws curveballs, and I try to face them with a smile. Take, for example, the time I lived in NYC post graduation. Without friends gathering all the time, I had to find a new community to feel less lonely. I found this program called Unshyness, where you get coached in how to approach strangers on the streets of NYC and strike up conversations. It was tough feeling alone in New York where it seems like everyone is out and about having fun. Sometimes I wallowed in self-pity, but it really helped to stay optimistic and find alternative things to do — even if they’re kinda out there.
And yeah, I still believe in love — but that’s not the defining trait of who I am. It’s just one part of the bigger picture. I’m way more focused on building my career, creating content, and making the most of what’s ahead. If romance comes along, great.
While I’ve never had the fairy tale romance I’ve dreamed of, I stay optimistic. I can’t help but smile and blush when I see my older cousins, who are close in age to me, now getting married and settling down with life partners. It makes me hopeful that one day, I too will find that special person, maybe in my late 20s or early 30s. Films about disability romance, like The Fault in Our Stars, always bring a tear to my eye. More recently, The Fundamentals of Caring, a Netflix film about a man with Duchenne muscular dystrophy who embarks on a road trip with his caretaker and finds romance along the way, reminded me that love is absolutely possible for people like me. In fact, my parents helped consult for the film to depict the medications that those of us with Duchenne take in real life. Watching movies like this gives me hope that a love story is out there for me.
At the end of the day, I’m still figuring things out — just like everyone else in their 20s. But I know this: I’ll keep laughing, learning, and probably drinking way too much coffee along the way.
What about you? What are the five traits that make you uniquely you?
